28 Weeks

Yep, 28 weeks and 5 days, making this 28th August 2007. The Lady thinks I look like a cartoon dog. I'm not sure that's a very nice thing to say about me. Whatever a dog might be. Or a cartoon, while I'm at it. I'm looking straight at you in this latest addition to my portfolio - with my body heading off to the right. You can kind of make out shoulders and arms, though having heard about my contortionist positions from The Lady, it could be my legs.

24 Weeks

It is 31st July 2007 and yet again, these bozos can't count properly. It is, in fact, 24 weeks and 5 days and you've guessed it, The TransporterPod has gone to the big, noisy place with The Other One. I'm really rather cheesed off with this beeping noise now - it's no way near as good as Chris Isaac or Manu Chao, which The Lady has been playing to me, somehow.

Anyway, as you can see, my spine is looking pretty tasty on this picture. When I say tasty, I don't mean tasty like BBQ spare ribs, more that it's all in place and doing what it should, which is holding my head onto my body. Though I do admittedly look a bit like a duck grazing on the riverbank. When did I grow flippers? If I don't shift soon, I'll get a crick in my neck.

20 Weeks

It is the 3rd July 2007, I have been alive for 20 weeks and 5 days, and it's time for another photo shoot down at the noisy, bright place with the beeping and prodding from The Medic. Life is tough under the gaze of these wanton paparazzos. Though, as you can see from my contacts sheet above, my backbone and skull are clearly visible, and the placenta is still clearly visible, thank goodness.

13 Weeks

It's really 12 weeks and 6 days, the date being 9th May 2007, and The Lady has gone somewhere much quieter but for the same kind of beeping and gentle proddings. This time, I think they filmed me moving about. I bet they don't supply that on the NHS. I wish they hadn't caught me with hiccups, though. Bit embarrassing, that. I've had all my tests done now and apparently I am all clear for launch.

12 Weeks

Today is 1st May 2007 and it's actually 11 weeks and 5 days. I went back to the big, noisy, beepy place and once more the old tummy gel squirting happened. I could almost feel the cold moment myself, even deep in here. There were two other people with The Lady; The Medic doing the bleeping that kept passing over my head - it's not very loud, but it's quite annoying - and The Other holding The Lady's hand. Afterwards The Lady and The Other Person were making happy noises because I think they've taken a photograph of me in The Lady's tummy. The Other Person was laughing because The Lady thinks I look like Homer Simpson, whoever he is. The lighter grey area to the top left of my photo is The Lady's placenta, which is where I get all my lovely stuff from like food and oxygen. Good work, placenta.